Talk Healthy

... for masturbating.

I'd like something less clinical than "masturbating", but less crude than "jerking off." So far, the only one I can think of is "walking the dog" which is too lame to even consider.

Ahem...

spanking the monkey?

pleasuring oneself?

waxing the pole?

Hmm... more spanking the money than pleasuring yourself. It's a guy who's a goofball saying it, I don't think he'd say "pleasuring yourself."

The lines I get stuck on never fail to surprise me...

I googled since my brain stopped working. You should be able to find something in one of these pages!

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/in ... sturbation

http://www.spankerchiefs.com/def.htm

Common slang terms for masturbation: jacking off, jerking off, wanking, whacking off, beating off, spanking the monkey.

I think I'll use spanking the monkey. Don't worry, you'll get full credit.

LOL, I'll be famous!

"double clicking your mouse" (from American Pie!) I cannot take credit!

OMG, that's like a line from "Avenue Q"...

"Grab your dick and double-click, for porn PORN PORN."

Frankie McCourt kept saying "interfering with myself". Cracked me up every time!

From Borat: Hand Party

R once called it "cranking up the yogurt machine."

Sorry.

Choke the chicken

Crystal Meth wrote:... for masturbating.

I'd like something less clinical than "masturbating", but less crude than "jerking off." So far, the only one I can think of is "walking the dog" which is too lame to even consider.

Ahem...

I'm a fan of "jacking." It sounds more genuine to me.

I stand corrected. Apparently it's "winding up the one holed yogurt thrower."

Blush, R is hilarious. yogurt thrower? Oh my.

I like the terms wanking and jacking off the best, but I guess Crystal already found her "term of art."

Hey, it's art to me.

Art is self-expression; so is masturbation. Somebody stitch that on a pillow!

Anyway, I'd rather save "wank" as a verb and call people wankers instead. Insulting AND British!

BEST THREAD EVER.

how about boppin' the baloney?

Blush wrote:I stand corrected. Apparently it's "winding up the one holed yogurt thrower."

I will never, and I mean never, look at yogurt the same.



I'll second the best thread ever nomination!

I call it a protein shake.